Two Years
by hibiren
Summary: Two years since the accident happened, and Sebastian finally finds a way to cope that isn't destructive. [repost from my ao3 account]


When Sebastian came to Joseph one morning, two warm cups of coffee from the place next door in hand, Joseph gave him a nod of greeting and made a remark about him being "late as usual." To that, Sebastian smirked and held out the coffee.

"Want some?"

Joseph smiled and accepted the offer, feeling the heat of the coffee inside resonate through the paper of the cup and warm his palm. "Of course. You know me."

Sebastian sat down at his desk and grumbled to himself for a moment before taking a long swig of his own coffee. Joseph could smell it from his side of the room, that strong aroma of black coffee with just a little bit of sugar. The way Sebastian liked it, and the way Joseph always made it for him. According to him, Joseph was the only one who ever got the balance right. Getting to know your partner over a long time working together just has small effects like that.

Since Joseph had arrived early as he usually did he'd gotten a head start on examining their cases for the day, going over notes and photographs of evidence and writing down various theories and his own notes in his notebook. He knew Sebastian would be behind, having had a day off, so he'd dropped a folder with a copy of all of his newest notes on the top of Sebastian's cluttered desk.

The room went silent and Joseph leaned back in his chair, letting out a quiet sigh. The day had just barely begun and in all honesty the days to him were starting to blend together. It felt like just five minutes ago he had been sleeping, he barely remembered the drive to work because he'd seen every street the same way for years.

Sparing a glance to Sebastian, Joseph realized that his partner was fidgeting at his desk, the cap to his blue ink pen in his mouth as he chewed on it out of habit. Something he did when he was either nervous, or thinking very hard about something.

"You okay, partner?"

Sebastian snapped up and turned his head to look at Joseph. "Hm? What? Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired."

"You look like you need that coffee more than I do, Seb, you ought to drink it."

Of course Joseph felt like he was being unnecessarily nagging, but it was only because he worried about Sebastian. If he didn't, he wondered if anyone else would. Especially after all he'd been through. Someone had to worry about him all the time, or he would likely not still be around.

"Yes, mom."

In response to the joking quip, Joseph rolled his chair back far enough that he could give Sebastian a light swat on the arm.

"Come on, let's just get to work."

The two detectives worked diligently (mostly by Joseph's encouragement) and made some progress into the case. They stopped to take some papers to another department and that's when Sebastian pulled him aside for a moment, standing in one of the small hallways where the janitor's closets were.

"Hey, uh, Joseph?"

"Yeah? What is it?" Joseph could see Sebastian still fidgeting, like he had something to confess. "Need me to hide a body or something?"

Sebastian's face went blank for a second but he blinked and came back to himself.

"No! No, that's not it. Very funny, though." The older detective now had his bottom lip caught in his teeth and was lightly chewing on it.

Joseph just watched and waited for Sebastian to speak again.

"You, uh, wanna go get some lunch?"

"Sure. That sounds good." Joseph smiled and noted in the back of his mind how Sebastian was acting like he had just asked his partner to the prom. "You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, fine," Sebastian said with a shrug and began pacing toward the exit. "I'm buying."

"Seb, I told you not to do that again, you paid last time!"

"Yeah, but I like buying lunch for you. You never eat much. You don't cost me an arm and a leg like Connelly does. Swear the guy's got a hollow leg or something."

They kept up the general chatter as they walked to the restaurant across the way. Outside the air held a light chill, but it was the perfect weather for their uniforms, finally. And Sebastian could wear his trench coat and not almost die of heat stroke, as Joseph constantly had to make a point to remind him to stay hydrated.

The inside of the diner was fairly quiet which was surprising for a Friday afternoon. They sat down at their favorite table and Sebastian ordered his usual, a roast beef sandwich, and Joseph just ordered a simple cup of chicken soup. While they waited for their food they chatted more about their case, and when Sebastian's interest began to drift away a bit Joseph tried to change the subject to catch his attention again.

"You really think Connelly has a hollow leg? How do we not hear it clunking around?"

"The answer's simple, Joseph," Sebastian said with a smirk, leaning forward with his elbows on the table, feigned determination in his eyes. "He's just got food in it all the time. He wants no one to know where it all goes. You've seen him at the department dinner parties, all that food has to go somewhere."

"Right, right," Joseph nodded and shrugged. "He's doing a good job of hiding it, then."

They shared a quiet laugh and shortly after, their food was brought to them. Sebastian, as usual, wasted no time digging into his sandwich, while Joseph ate a few spoonfuls of his soup.

"Hey, Jo?" Sebastian asked past a mouthful of bread and meat, and Joseph looked up from stirring his spoon around lightly in his soup to answer.

"Yeah?"

"You know, it's been a while… and…" Sebastian put his sandwich down, hands drifting into his lap, and Joseph knew he was fiddling with his shirt under the table. His next sentence was a mumble.

"My, uh, therapist said... it would be a good idea to talk to you about something important."

Joseph tried not to let his eyebrows raise in surprise. Sebastian never talked about having to go to counseling after what happened to him—the fire, his wife leaving, Lily's death… so something important really had to be going on.

"Is everything alright?" Now a hint of worry shone in Joseph's eyes, accentuated by the light glare of sun from the window against his glasses.

Sebastian nodded, though slowly. "Yeah, yeah, everything's fine. I just… I just wanted to, um. You know. I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Are you sure this is the place for it?" Asked Joseph, as he looked around. No one else had really walked in, and all the waitresses seemed to be chatting amongst themselves. So it was almost like they were alone. Almost. Joseph still worried for their privacy, and for Sebastian's sake. He knew Sebastian hated talking openly about his issues in public settings.

Again, Sebastian nodded, pulling his hands up to rest on the table as he tried to keep still and stop shifting around. "Yeah. Well, uh, I had an appointment with her yesterday… you know… what happened… Yesterday was the two year anniversary of it. And before you ask, no, I didn't go anywhere else. I stayed in after my appointment. Thought about things. And, I thought… I thought about what the therapist told me… she said, Myra probably isn't coming back and I need to stop believing she will, so blindly. It's been too long. And I need to cope with that. I still do, but, I know, I can't do it alone. Joseph, I—"

And immediately Joseph knew where the conversation was going. He reached over to rest a gloved palm lightly overtop the palm of Sebastian's left hand, the closest one to his reach. "You don't have to say anything else. Alright? I think we should save this for when we get back to the office."

So Sebastian agreed in a silent way by returning his attention to his sandwich. They ate in silence and then paid and left, the walk back to their office that same silence of slight discomfort on Sebastian's end still lingering.

Before Joseph could go up to the front doors, Sebastian pulled him aside again and off to a corner of the building's closed-in parking lot. Joseph stood with his back against the wall leaning against it, and Sebastian stood next to him, already halfway through lighting a cigarette by the time Joseph noticed.

A small trail of smoke left Sebastian's lips when he exhaled and it disappeared into the clouded sky.

"So, Joseph, about earlier… I'm sorry for all that."

"No, don't worry about it, it's alright. I know yesterday was a tough day for you. But I'm glad you've kept seeing the therapist, and I can see how much you've improved..." While Sebastian still wasn't "great" he had certainly developed better habits. He had cut down on his smoking somewhat and though he still drank, it was often when Joseph was there, as if he wanted Joseph to watch him and prevent him from getting too carried away. Which Joseph usually did, and he never really minded.

"There was something else I wanted to ask you…" Sebastian said and by that point he gave up on his cigarette, putting it out on the nearby receptacle and throwing it away. There was a funny story to that, Joseph actually requested the Chief have one put there for Sebastian, because he was always down in the parking lot smoking and seeing a cop littering was one of the last things he wanted in the general public's eye.

"Oh?"

Sebastian turned to Joseph and before he could blink Sebastian leaned in close, the heat of his body enveloping Joseph as he approached, and his lips lightly pressed to the smaller man's. Joseph could taste the smoke that lingered in his mouth and it almost sent a strange sense of adrenaline through him. He hadn't been expecting Sebastian to do that, in all honesty it was the last thing he'd expected of his partner.

When they pulled apart, which was almost immediately, Sebastian turned his back and immediately withdrew the cigarette box from his trenchcoat, making a disappointed grunt when he found out it was empty and therefore tossing it bitterly into the trashcan. Joseph reached out to put his hand on Sebastian's shoulder and stepped close enough to pull him into a light hug. Joseph wasn't really one for physical affection, but he just felt like it was the most appropriate thing to do in this situation.

"We should get back to work," Sebastian said and began to step forward when Joseph tightened his grip just enough to keep Sebastian in place.

"I think we should stay here a little longer…" Joseph said softly and watched as Sebastian turned around to face him, a strange pink flush in his cheeks which was very unlike the older man. In another flash of a second Joseph found himself with his back pressed against the brick wall of the department building again, Sebastian's arms around his waist, and his lips pressed to Joseph's without restraint.

This wasn't Joseph's first kiss with Sebastian, as he'd lost a bet on Poker Night with Connelly and some of his friends, and on a few other occasions when Sebastian had been so drunk he could barely see straight. So Joseph had tried to put those memories aside, until now. This kiss was much different, more passionate, and like a full-body experience.

Joseph felt his eyes drift closed and he just held tightly to Sebastian like it was the only thing to keep him grounded. When they finally pulled apart, both looking into each other's eyes with a new sense of themselves, Joseph was the first to speak up.

"So… are we…"

"Yeah, I… I guess we are… if you're alright with that. It's time to move on… and… you've really helped me. In more ways than you know."

Smiling, Joseph leaned in close to hold Sebastian one last time before pulling away to gently nudge him in the direction of the offices. "Come on, Seb, it's getting kind of cold out here. Let's get some coffee?"

"Last one to the door makes it."

With that Sebastian and Joseph raced to the steps, Joseph easily sprinting ahead and claiming his victory to which Sebastian accused him of cheating.

"No, I'm just younger," Joseph said with a joking laugh.

"Yeah, yeah, let's just go inside."

"I'll make your coffee the way you like it, don't worry," Joseph said, and the smile at his lips now was a kinder one than his previous playful grin.

"Thanks, partner."

The relief in Sebastian's voice as they entered the building was very audible, almost echoing into the hallway. And Joseph felt that same relief trickling into him, like he was just given a second chance at living. Joseph knew there would be a lot ahead for them to deal with, but at least now they were doing it together. Officially.


End file.
